Day 1... of this blog

SO instead of journalling in a book, I thought i would do it this way instead. Whats the difference? Honestly - I hate writing. Like the actual physical act of holding a pen and writing things down LOL. But typing comes easy to me, as I do it so much at work. So my journey that has inspired me to blog is not so much a journey of weight loss, or fitness. But rather my journey to understand my 'whys'. Some of my 'whys' are: 1. Why is it I view food as a reward (or sometimes punishment?) Meaning - if I feel that things have been going good, or its a special occasion, etc I use food as a reward. Treats are always food related. As for punishment, well if things aren't going great, I would often turn to food to cope, or I would keep eating til I feel sick... Make sense?? Not at all! 2. Why is my relationship with food so distorted that I cant just see it for what it is - fuel for my body?!? I have alot of questions, and don't really know where to start. But I had a really great phone call with Paula Galli, she is a psychologist with a focus on eating disorders (website: http://paulagalli.com/ ) . Now I'm not saying that I have a diagnosed eating disorder (ED), but my eating is distorted... and any reading that I have done is that EDs are not just anorexia or bulimia... but that there are many facets of EDs. Again - I am not self diagnosing LOL - just something that makes me go hmmm So my goal with this blog is to write (type?) what I am learning, both the good and the bad. Because in order to improve, I need to learn from the bad. The hard to talk about stuff... the stuff that makes me slightly embarrassed about who I am and what I have done. But I also know that it is important to work on this - so I can learn the be happy in my body, and learn to love myself, and treat my body with the respect it deserves. And one of the best ways to do that is to feed it food that will nourish it, and support it and make it as healthy and functional as it can be! Because my goal at the end of all of this is to have a body I trust. Whether its for moving furniture, or just for supporting my family during rough times, or supporting myself through tough times. Stress, anxiety, work, the busyness of life.... the list can go on and on! But I need to know that I am mentally strong enough to deal with it - without using food to help! Im off to have a fabulous, inspiring day!!